


To be loved and to be in love

by gigstagram



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-24 13:28:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4921348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigstagram/pseuds/gigstagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt: "This is one is more simple. Just one where they are still famous and Niall has had a crush on Liam for the longest time and somehow, whatever you choose, Liam ends up single and goes to Niall for comfort and Niall uses his free time to cheer Liam up and does crazy antics to make him laugh or smile on stage. Sometime later, Niall realizes his feelings have blossomed to more and distances himself until Liam can't take it and yeah, happy happy, woot woot. Also, you can add any extra characters and make the story explicit or not, it's up to you!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	To be loved and to be in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starrycrashings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrycrashings/gifts).



> I tried to stay as close to the prompt as possible, I apologize in advance if you expected something else.  
> It was my first attempt at writing in english and I think I did it quite well hahaha  
> I really hope you like it, thank you for reading it x

Even if you had never talked to him, you knew who Louis Tomlinson was. The loud and witty lad who couldn’t shut his mouth for 15 seconds was easily one of the popular kids at bootcamp.

Also known for his charm, cute face and soft hair, Harry Styles brought a lovely smile everywhere he went, greeting everyone he’d never met before with a “hello, I’m Harry”, throw a bad joke in the mix and he had them in his pocket.

Zayn was mute most of the time and people wondered why, Niall understood that if Malik had nothing to say, he would remain silent the whole ride to the studio. Not that being quiet made him a serious lad, because he wasn’t (he isn’t).

Liam had a point to prove. Everyone had heard about the one who came back to win and wasn’t going to give up; with an amazing voice and Justin Bieber’s hair, Payne gave his heart every time he performed and it was fascinating to witness.

Ever since they got put together in a group, Niall had said to himself that he wasn’t going to fall in love with one of these boys, this was a huge opportunity, so he definitely didn’t want to fuck up this chance by liking someone he was going to work with.

Everything was developing just fine, the guys were amazing and they had great banter all the time, he always had a laugh and he started to love each one of them like brothers.

He had tried to deny who he really was and got a girlfriend before the X factor, Holly, who was pretty and funny, but he just couldn’t see her as more than his best friend, so he decided to end the relationship after two months of being into the competition. She understood everything and didn’t get mad at him, even though she was sad. He could see she was heartbroken, even if she never admitted it.

After Holly, Niall didn’t really get into another “formal” relationship for a while, he only took a couple of girls out for a drink and that was it, no sex. He liked girls, he really did, _'they are pretty, smell lovely and if I am lucky for the day, they have a great sense of humour'_ he thought _'but… I just can’t be attracted to them in that way'_

He had this constant thought running around his head every day of every week of every fucking month, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He just wanted to understand what was going on with his ‘pal’ down there that didn’t do anything to give any signs of life when he was with a lady.

 

 

 

It was November of 2010, and the boys were hanging out in a record store somewhere in the UK. The weather was kind of cold, crisp enough to put on a light jumper or if you were Harry, wear a heavy winter coat, ‘cause according to him "I have to keep my angelic voice safe and warm for the final", as it was going to happen in 2 weeks at the time.

Niall was snooping around the store trying to kill time before his turn to answer questions arrived, when he realized that he was no longer reading the synopsis of the golf documentary he was holding, but instead he was looking at Liam, who was talking with the interviewer about the contest and the fans.

 _'He has a cute mouth…'_ he started to think while he watched Liam’s mouth articulate every letter of every word _'I wonder if it feels as soft as it looks'._ He grasped his train of thoughts and with wide eyes, he turned his back to the other boy and put the dvd back on the shelf as he muttered to himself "what the hell am I thinking?". With a small sigh he closed his tired eyes and rested his head on his hands for a couple of seconds, he heard Harry chewing some gum, Louis and Zayn exchanging the stupid jokes they had read that week and the interviewer, Anna, thanking Liam for his help.

He felt a pair of warm hands land on his shoulders as a mouth approached his left ear to whisper "I know you’re tired ‘cause we woke up as the sun was rising, but I promise you this is the last stop of the day, so one last push and then we’re free to get supper and sleep for a week until rehearsals" Liam’s voice was tiny and with a higher tone than his regular one _'almost adorable'_ Niall painfully reasoned.

He got manhandled by the same pair of hands and when he was facing Liam’s way, that cursed mouth told him "So it’s your turn with Anna, go get her number" and a silly smile appeared on _'those lips that I don’t know what the fuck they are doing to me mind'._

Niall took a deep breath and smiled as calmly as he could "I don’t want her number, she’s too old… and" he looked at Liam’s brown eyes and his mouth froze for a second.

_'Don’t wink, don’t you fucking dare to wink like you always do when you have a cheeky thought, not now please'_

But he did it anyways, Payne closed his right eye as his mouth opened with a silly smile _'I must go'_

"See you in a bit Payne-in-the-arse" he joked as he moved towards Anna with his cheeks tinted in pink _'what is happening to me?'_

After the interview, Niall gave the rest of the boys a lame excuse, something about “feeling poorly” or “missing home, so I’m skyping me parents”, so he could avoid any contact with Liam for at least the last hours of the day and early hours of the next one, he had to find out what was going on with his thoughts.

It was late to get a train back to London and then a cab to Heathrow and next, get a plane to Ireland. His mum and dad would be waiting for him at Dublin’s airport if he announced that he was on his way, but he couldn’t, he was stuck at that shared B&B bedroom. Luckily, he shared it with Louis.

 _'If I was really lucky, my roommate would be Zayn, Tommo snorts like there’s no tomorrow'_ , he mentally prepared to enjoy Louis’ personal snorting concert while he was in the shower singing Your Song.

"My gift is my song, and this one’s for you…" as he kept on going, Niall pictured himself singing that to Liam, holding his soft hands and looking right into his warm brown eyes.

"It may be quite simple but, now that it’s done… hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words" he stopped mid-verse, opened his eyes and gasped loudly as he felt his left foot throb, because he had dropped the shampoo bottle he was holding just 5 seconds before. But besides the slight pain, he was feeling something odd in his chest, like something was tickling from the inside out.

That was the first day he felt that.

 

 

**1 YEAR LATER**

The lads were getting ready for an important interview with Alan Carr on his famous “Chatty Man Show”. Lou, their hair stylist, was fixing Louis’ hair for the hundredth time, minutes before they left the backstage lounge.

"Come on Lou, my hair can’t be awful today ‘cause Eleanor will be watching the show and" Tomlinson sighed, "I want to give her a good impression, you know?" he finished as he stood up and looked at his hair with the help of a tiny mirror hanging on the wall between two massive TVs.

"Great, now we’re ready lads!" Louis clapped three times and the others (minus Malik) woke up from their ten minutes slumber groaning lazily. Then, Louis threw a bright purple cushion to Zayn’s face.

"I want my teeth back" Zayn blurted as he quickly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, adjusting to the light in the room.

"You don’t need to worry mate, you still have them all" Harry responded, along with a loud yawn.

Niall heard little to nothing of that chat, as he was recovering from the dream he had had. He felt cold sweat on the back of his neck when he looked over to Liam, who was looking right back at him with a little smile.

 _'Does he know? Oh fuck he knows, he knows and he’s going to leave the group and go solo, and sell one billion albums… Oh fuck… Oh fuck'_ he started to panic and gave Liam a tight smile as he turned his head the other way _'But wait, he can’t read minds as far as I’m aware… Can he? Of course not Horan, stop overreacting and focus on something else that is not the boy sitting at your right, the boy who gave you a k-'_

"Stop!" he yelled, trying to stop his brain from thinking about Liam.

"You alright, mate?" ' _and speaking of the devil'_

"Yeh Liam don’t worry, I was just thinking how many people relate that ‘stop!’ to MC Hammer or to Diana Ross and The Supremes" Niall said, laughing nervously.

"I always knew your mind had its own way to work man, but please don’t scare little Harry with your screams again, yeah?" Louis told him as he checked Harry’s temperature, with his hand put on the youngest boy’s pale forehead.

Niall murmured an apology and Harry weakly nodded, then he leaned onto Louis’ bony shoulder saying "No problem mate, you just caught me off guard, that’s all"

That was the first time he dreamed about Liam.

 

 

**NOVEMBER 2012**

The group had just finished performing at the Today Show and four of them were on their way to the hotel so they could get some well-deserved rest after waking up at 4am in the morning.

 _'It’s too early to do anything'_ Niall thought as he rested his head on a little plane pillow he had snatched from their last flight. It wasn’t comfortable enough on the crowded van (Louis and Zayn shared the backseat, Paul and Preston at the front and Niall was in the middle seat, squished between Harry and Lou with little Lux sleeping on her lap).

Liam on the other hand, was on his way to Central Park with Paddy; he needed a break from everyone for a while, especially after the interviewer reminded him that his relationship status had just changed from “happily in love” to “half a heart”.

He missed Danielle a lot, every day since they had broken up, but he couldn’t say that to the group because he had to be the strong one, the “daddy” and take care of his idiots. The good thing is that this job gave him and the lads the opportunity to meet really nice people, such as Paddy, and Liam trusted him with his life, literally.

One could count with one hand how many people Liam truly trusted, and one of them was Paddy. Of course he trusted his boys too but, he was not willing to go and break down in front of them, crying his eyes out and sobbing that he missed her so much he couldn’t stand it anymore.

So there, in a random bench at Central Park, he poured everything he had held inside for the last month and cried a long time. Paddy was giving him another tissue when he said something Liam would never forget "Don’t worry young one, heartache doesn’t last forever… Better things are coming your way"

...

Back in the hotel, Niall was fooling around the huge suite he shared with Liam, the missing boy who was still out somewhere and he needed to show up or else he would miss his flight home.

"Where is he? It’s already 2pm and we have to leave at 3 or we won’t make it to the JFK on time" the Irish lad said to himself with his mouth full of crisps he had found in the small fridge of the room, "should I call him and see if he’s okay?" he wondered as he put the last piece of food on his mouth.

He was still a bit drowsy because he wanted to sleep more, but Harry had knocked on his door at 12pm to wake him up, telling him about his new pointless hypothesis, something to do with “vegan sharks” and “long legs”. That was a typical behaviour from the curly one and Niall was used to those strange topics, but that day he was feeling sleep deprived and he wanted to get all the rest he could muster.

…

The boys and their crew were loading up the vans with the luggage at 2:50 pm, and there were still no signs of Liam. Niall was worried now.

"Oi Zayn, have you seen Payno?" he asked his mate, who was already falling asleep inside the vehicle.

"Ummm..." Zayn thought for a few seconds, "oh yeah, he called me like fifteen minutes ago, he told me that he’d meet us at the airport gate along with Paddy", he yawned "and that he was fine and no one had to worry" he concluded; then he placed his head back on a small pillow.

"Oh okay, thanks Z" Niall said as he thought ' _why didn’t he call me instead? I was the one who shared the suite with him, not Zayn. I was worried sick and he didn’t call me or even sent me a text letting me know he was okay. He was supposed to call me, not Zayn'_

That was the first time he felt jealousy.

 

 

**ONE YEAR LATER**

2013 had been a really long year for One Direction, between recording a new album and delivering shows all around the world, they had to keep living their lives. And, 2013 wasn’t over yet.

The group was in London, one week after the tour had ended in Tokyo, a place they had always wanted to visit, Harry above the rest. It was a sunny Saturday morning, a peculiar weather in the usually rainy English capital, and Niall woke up trying to remember the last time he had felt like he was feeling right at that moment, well-rested and super cozy. He had missed his bed.

He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and checked the time, 10 am. He had woken up an hour before his alarm had a chance to go off, and he deliberated for a minute on whether he should go back to bed or, take a quick shower and get some breakfast. He opted for the last option and ran to the bathroom.

 

Twenty minutes later, a freshened up Niall was in the kitchen, thinking about what would be good to eat based on his newly acquired Jamie Oliver’s recipe book. He had just taken the book out of the drawer when his phone rang. “It’s a beautiful day” by his friend Michael boomed through the room as he checked who was calling. Liam’s face popped out on the screen and he felt nervous all of the sudden.

_'Why is he calling me this early? Does he want to hang out before the interview on Jonathan Ross tonight?... But doesn’t he have Sophia? They’ve been dating for a while now… I thought he’d like to be with her all the time we had off. She’s lovely… Answer already Horan, he’ll hang up'_

"Top o’ the mornin’ to ya chap!" he screamed answering the phone, "how are you sunshine?" he continued with the sweetest, funniest tone he could make.

"I was definitely not deaf before" Liam said with false worry, "but I think I’m partially deafened of my left ear, thank you very much" he laughed playfully, "I see you’re alright, from what I hear… barely… I"

Niall interrupted him with his boisterous laugh, overshadowing Liam’s voice for a minute. "Sorry Liam… sorry" he laughed a little, then took a deep breath, wiping the tears of his eyes "please, continue" he granted.

"As I was saying, I wanna talk to you about something" he paused for a second, "…something important to me, can we meet up?"

"Of course Payno, you can count on me for anything" seriousness clouding his voice, "when do you wanna meet?"

"Can it be like… now?" Liam asked timidly, "I know you’re probably busy right now, but I just felt like talking to someone and I thought about you and I was down the road buying some things and I’m right outside your door and…" he went on.

Niall stopped listening when Liam mentioned his presence outside the flat, and in a flash he was opening the door and ending the call.

Liam was biting his lip thoughtfully when he walked into the living room, nerves clear on every fragment of his body and he said nothing for 5 minutes.

"Liam, mate what is it?"

"I think… I think I’m in love"

"What?" surprise impregnated Niall’s voice, "I mean… What? Are you sure?"

"Well, not like sure sure but, I know what this is" he smiled brightly, "it’s what I felt when I was with Dany… but with Soph it’s different"

"Different? What do you mean?"

"It’s like… stronger, powerful… intense. A really deep love I believe"

"Wow… and, have you told her already?"

"Are you mental? We’ve been dating for four, almost five months and you want me to tell her all this? I’ll scare her away"

"Or maybe… maybe she’ll tell you that she has been feeling the same for weeks now and" Liam looked at him like he was speaking a foreign language "oh come on man, you gotta have a little hope, maybe everything will turn out for the best"

"You think so Neil?" Liam said as he looked at the ceiling, considering Niall’s words.

"Yes I do, and don’t come into me house again if you’re going to call me that"

"Okay, okay" he snickered, "sorry about that but… Do you really believe she’d say that?"

"I cannot tell you that for sure, but you have to give yourself the chance of finding true love in your life again and who knows, maybe she’s the one for you"

"I knew it was a brilliant idea to talk to you about this" Liam hugged his friend, "and when you say things like that, I still wonder why you haven’t found someone for you"

 

Niall smiled weakly, burying his secret deeper into his heart. No one knew he liked men, and no one would find out… yet.

 

 

**November 23, 2014**

**L.A., California**

Liam couldn’t be happier with Sophia, he was at the peak of their relationship; Louis was at a different club every night and Harry… well, he was just being Harry.

With Zayn, Niall wasn’t sure. Ever since that bloody video leaked earlier that year, he had changed. If you didn’t know Zayn properly, you wouldn’t have noticed, but Niall saw it right when it happened.

 

> It was the day after the video had leaked, and the group had been called to a last minute meeting with Simon. But this one was different, they were going to see the man each one separately. Liam and Harry took more time walking to the office’s door than walking out of it.
> 
> Afterwards, Simon just asked Niall why he had broken up with Barbara and that was it. During Louis’ turn, the others had enough time to go out and eat at the restaurant across the street.
> 
> Then it was time for Zayn to go inside the black door. After three hours that felt like six, Malik walked out with a face Niall had never seen.
> 
> _'He looked empty, I can’t think of another word to describe it. But he recomposed before anyone else could notice. He never told us what happened that day'_

Niall sighed loudly as he adjusted the shoelaces of his left feet. Just as he was about to finish tying his right converse, Liam came in cursing out loud.

"The fuck does he think he is doing?" he looked at Niall frustrated, "He can’t just come in here like a fucking boss, telling everyone what to and what not to do… then just decide out of the fucking blue that he doesn’t want to show up"

"Woah mate, breathe for a second, what are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Do you really wanna know?" he pinched the bridge of his nose tightly and closed his eyes "I’m talking about Zayn -I can do what I want- Malik and his idiotic decisions that mess everything up"

"But what did he decide or why are you so frustrated about it?"

"The king doesn’t feel like doing a red carpet appearance, and we can’t come up with an excuse of him being ill ‘cause Caroline already uploaded a photo of him to instagram all dressed up" he explained.

"And did you talk to him already?" Niall asked as he checked himself in the mirror.

"I’ve tried enough times and I’m done with it. Fuck what people say, I don’t want to deal with him right now, he’s insufferable"

Then Harry showed up asking if anyone had seen his hat, and instead of leaving the room with the accessory, he left with the determination of convincing Zayn of doing the arrival.

When Harry left, Liam and Niall were left alone again. None of them said anything for a couple of minutes; with the atmosphere of the room a bit tense, it didn’t feel right to say a thing.

"I don’t know what’s gotten to him, you know?" Liam started as he looked at the floor "I’m one of his closest friends and I feel kind of bad for not knowing what he’s going through…but, but he just doesn’t talk to me anymore"

Niall looked at him pitifully, like when someone stares at a lost puppy on a dark alley. "Maybe he’s not feeling good today" he thought out loud "but always remember that tomorrow it’s a new day" he tried to smile stupidly to make Liam laugh.

"If this only happened today, then I would understand. Out of all of us, he’s the one who struggles the most at being away from home" he began playing mindlessly with his watch, "but this has been happening for almost five months and I’ve tried to talk to him properly about this, but he closes up and ignores me whenever I bring up the subject… I think he doesn’t want to be here anymore"

"What?!" Niall was incredulous "How is he gonna leave us? Why would he want to leave us? We are a team, since day one we agreed that this would end when all of us decided so, not one of us alone… He can’t do it, he would never do it", he seated down because it was too much to handle.

"Calm down Horan, I’m not saying he will do it" he squeezed Niall’s shoulders trying to relax him, "I’m just mentally preparing myself for any possible scenario"

"Still, that’s not a possible scenario. He just can’t do it, we’re brothers now, and we need each other" Niall slightly panicked as he thought about continuing as a foursome.

"You’re right, we’re brothers" Liam hugged him from the back and abandoned the room.

At that moment, Niall wished he had said mates.

 

 

**2015**

It was one day before the end of September and the show at the O2 Arena had gone just like the others, great. Despite Zayn leaving for good six months before, the rest of the lads had managed to overcome the worst case scenario and kept going.

The first single of their new album had pretty good sales, and the second one was still trying to match the sales of the other. It was clear that the guys were giving their last push to end the contract with SYCO on good terms, and deliver the fifth and final album on the agreement. All in all, business wise, they were not doing badly.

On the other side of the coin, they were all really tired and wanted to call it quits when Malik had decided this wasn’t for him anymore. He took part of the heart of the group with him and never looked back. Liam was the one who brought back a little bit of light to the others even though he was the most affected one; he always looked after anyone else that wasn’t him.

 

> Harry was the one who found out about Zayn’s decision first, ‘cause he got the phone call late at night and woke up the rest to tell them. Not long after, Liam had disappeared and showed up again four hours later with his eyes puffy but not a tear in sight.
> 
> He took a deep breath and with a shaky voice said "His decision is definitive and he encourages us to keep going with the tour and record the last album… He" his voice cracked, "…He loves us a lot, but he couldn’t do it anymore"
> 
> He turned around to leave, but not quickly enough because Niall noticed his face change from fake boredom to deep hurt and despair. Everyone heard the loud sob Liam made when he shut the door so loud the windows rattled a bit. They stayed silent for minutes that felt like hours. The three boys in the room felt like they had travelled back to 2010, when they didn’t know what would happen with their lives from that point on.
> 
> Nothing felt right.

It was rough for them to perform the same day that they found out, but they managed to give a good show night after night. And they were nearly at the end of the tour.

 _'One more month, and then we’re free'_ Niall thought as he took of the sweaty clothes he had worn onstage, _'I can’t wait to see me hometown friends, I’ve missed them lots'_ he got in the shower and stood under the warm water.

Suddenly, the first notes to Drag Me Down began as his phone announced that someone was calling… at 12am.

"The fuck?" he wondered while he was shampooing his hair, "fine, fine! I’m going" he rinsed and dried his hands quickly with a towel, and answered the phone without watching the caller.

"Hello?"

"Niall, sorry mate if I woke you up, I just wanted to talk to someone and Harry had his phone turned off and you know how Tommo gets if you call him after midnight and…" Liam rambled on.

"Li- Liam, Liam!" he got the other lad to shut up "it’s okay, you know you can always call me whenever you want to, I’m here for you" he felt shampoo start to get into his eyes and winced "except… Maybe not now mate, I have soap all over my eyes… Wh- why don’t you call Soph though? Most probably she is still awake"

"Uhhh…" Liam hesitated for a few seconds "that’s why I’m calling you man, we…" his voice cracked, "we broke up"

Niall was speechless for two complete minutes; he had no idea what to say next.

"Niall? You still there mate?" he sobbed quite loudly

 _'Say something you awful friend'_ "Ye- yes Liam of course" his mind was blank "Ummm…" and he got an idea "hey, why don’t you come over and sleep here tonight? It’s better if we talk face to face about this"

"Are you sure? I don’t want to be a pain in the arse" he blew his nose loudly

"Why are you asking those questions like I’m a new friend? Liam, it’s just me, Nialler, the best friend one could ever have and the best beer drinker in the world" he said with his best attempt at an anchor-man’s voice.

Liam laughed a little and that was good enough for Niall, at least for now.

"You’re right, I’m sorry… I just, I just feel lost" he sobbed, "I’ll be at your door in 15 minutes… thank you" he hung up before Niall could answer.

 _'Okay then, shower, clothes, toy story and hot cocoa'_ Niall thought as he got into the shower once again.

That was the first time Liam hugged him all night while they were sleeping.

 

After that day, Liam and Niall developed a close relationship, even closer than the one they had had for five years. And with this, Niall was struggling to keep his huge crush as a secret. But then one night, he realized something that would cause him even more trouble.

 

The lot was hanging out at Harry’s place, they were watching some movies, eating take out Chinese food and just laughing about anything. The atmosphere was relaxed and intimate. 3 months had passed since they last got together and they missed each other.

Just when Amèlie was about to confess she’s the one behind the notes, Niall was staring at Liam attentively.

 _'I love it when he looks so into something, the tiny smile and the little crinkles his eyes make whenever he is focused on anything make me want to puke rainbows and make him smile bigger… He is so beautiful and he can’t see it sometimes, I would give everything to be the one to tell him he’s gorgeous and cute and lovely and completely fascinating every day for the rest of his life… He deserves someone to love him just as much as he loves back… I love him…'_ "I love y…" he became conscious of what he was about to say so he shut his mouth right away.

Liam turned to look at him with a questioning face "you love what?"

The other two looked at him too when Liam placed the question.

 _'You! I love you!'_ "I was just thinking how good this food is", he put a dumpling in his mouth "Mmmmm…"

"Yeahhh" the others agreed in unison and focused their attention back on the film.

That day, he decided he would stay away from Liam.

 

**2016.**

It is November, and it is the exact same day when Niall fell for Liam six years ago, on that crowded record store when they were still young.

It’s been a difficult couple of months for Niall, avoiding calls and eye contact whenever he’s in the same room with Liam has been harder than he expected. It’s been almost 3 months since he finally came out, at his birthday party, he thought _'what the hell, the attention’s on me already, it’s now or never'_. Most of the guests made that ‘Ahhhh’ knowing sound, at last completing the puzzle that Niall was.

He was just watching a Derby County match on the telly when the doorbell rang.

"Thank God halftime just started" he sighed as he got up to answer the door.

He hadn’t even opened the door fully when he heard "I gave you enough time to deal with whatever you’ve had to deal with but I’m sick of not talking to you properly" Liam stormed inside with his hands in his pockets "so, why on Earth have you been avoiding me all this time?"

Niall tried to play the fool card "Avoiding you? What are you talking about Li? We just went out last week, remember?" he said as he looked anywhere else but the man he loved.

"Oh no mate, you’re not getting out of this one so easily… First" he grabbed Niall’s face with both hands, "why won’t you look at me? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you in any way?" he asked concerned, looking at Niall with sad puppy eyes.

"No, no… You didn’t do anything wrong, I just… I… I can’t do it anymore" he whimpered lightly as tears formed in his eyes, "I have to tell you something I should have told you many years ago" he looked at Liam’s eyes after what felt like an eternity.

"Many years ago? What? Oh my God, you hate me, you’ve always hated me I knew it, you never…" he started to ramble like he always did when he felt slightly panicked.

Niall stopped listening, _'okay, he’s panicking again and he won’t listen to me… Maybe I just have to… But if he rejects me later, what then? I lose his friendship… But at the same time, I should risk it all because I might get what I’ve always wanted, it’s worth a shot'_

He pressed his mouth to Liam’s right in the middle of his living room, with the door still open and the cold autumn air cooling his boiling blood. It took five second for Liam to react and press his mouth back with such tenderness that made Niall weak on the knees.

The kiss lasted less than a minute and when they opened their eyes, Niall was red on the cheeks and Liam’s eyes couldn’t be wider.

"I… I, I think I got th-the message" Liam stuttered as he put his right hand on the back of his neck, red creeping up to his face too. He instinctively closed his left hand and realized that it was on Niall’s narrow hip, biting his lip nervously.

Niall couldn’t believe what he had just done _'he kissed me back, oh fuck, he kissed me back… What do I say? Should I kiss him again?'_

He trusted his gut and kissed Liam again, and again, and again.

And again.

"I love you" he whispered as if someone else could listen.

 

Niall was definitely not expecting Liam to say that first.

 

 

And right in that moment, he understood what it meant to be loved.


End file.
